My Swagga is Mick Jagger
, 8.11.2010
It was one of those days. No, not the notorious bad day. The very-rare-but-oh-so-appreciated fabulous day. Oh, you aren't lucky enough to have those? Let me elaborate.
I woke up well rested and in a good mood. I thanked His Noodliness while devouring a perfectly cooked bacon, egg, and cheese biscuit. With my gorgeously groomed hair and freshly painted toenails, it was clear that today was a day to be out in the world. With my inflamed ego, I ran my errands. I smiled at everyone I met. I even laughed at everyone's jokes while I flipped my hair and wished every day could be like this one.
Last stop of the day: gas station. I fill my car up with gas and head home. As I'm driving home, a 20-something year old guy speeds up to ride parallel to my van. Let's call him Chuck. He's smiling, talking, and gesturing. So I smile and turn my attention back to the road. Chuck doesn't like this. He keeps smiling and mouthing something, all while speeding up and slowing down to match my speed. I flip my hair, roll my eyes, and laugh. The fake laugh. The you-are-so-sad-right-now pity kind of laugh. Chuck is relentless, he won't stop and now it's bordering on creepy.
At the red light, I roll down my window and shout, "I'm married! Not interested, but thanks for the offer!". I was prepared for a "Whatever", maybe even a "Fuck you". Instead I hear, "I'm not interested in you. either. Thanks. Your gas tank is open."
Well, buh-bye ego. It was fun while it lasted.
Now THAT, is hilarious!! Don't worry, he probably thought you were hot!